Perhaps I should take up irony. Or sarcasm. It seems more lucrative, and definitely funnier. Take Robin McKinley for example-The Bitch from Hell. Her blog is jolly funny. And I mean that. Funny. Nobody likes it when I’m bitchy (honest, that's just the next door neighbor practicing violin), although they take bitch from any other women in the house. Not from me though. It’s not allowed. Apparently I’m like Ellen, God’s breath to Earth. And God’s breath is apparently not sour, like our own, nor is it minty either, and it is definitely not allowed to be bitchy. So instead I remain calm, giving, selfless, wise, thoughtful, and practical (hmm, what other goodies have I been called) and then I laugh to myself, quietly and inwardly, and start to act the bitch with a very sweet face and honest looking motives, and nobody notices. But still, it’s not the same unless I can whine and complain about everything and everyone in the world.
I think I’m a step in the right direction though. My sister has confirmed that I’m growing steadily and completely cynical this holiday season. So there’s hope for me yet.
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